400 Words


About 400 Words

400 Words is a storytelling project. It is a print magazine and a website, consisting of true stories, none over 400 words, by ordinary people on assigned themes. It's about the documentation of everyday life, saying a lot by saying a little. You can learn more, or order a copy, or tell a story of your own.

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Issue 2, Compulsions:
What can you not not do?

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Issue 1, Autobiographies:
Tell the whole story of your life in 400 words or less.

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Production

by Paul de Denus—Age 56—Santa Rosa Beach, FL

My Former Workweek

Monday:
1. List new orders, post on board
2. Set up weeks production schedule
3. List supplies needed
4. New guy, Antwann, starting in printing area

Notes:
-Harry hung over and asleep on the four by eights (Wake him or sleep it off??)
-Need to move him as will need those boards this A.M.
-Look for artwork he prep’d.
-Started Antwann in print area/ quiet, didn’t say a word? (Could work out??)
-Paul wants me to have safety meeting on proper use of respirators/ back support belts. (Set a date???)

Tuesday:
1. Update new orders
2. Speedy needs help in prep area
3. Order supplies/mostly paint (Talk to Mike?)
4. Date for safety meeting??
5. Artwork from Harry???

Notes:
-Harry late. No call.
-Antwann no show. Did call in, mother’s sick?
-Speedy can’t mix colors. Confused by color mix chart. Need to revisit?? Hide three gallons of eggplant he made.
-Paul asked about safety meeting date again?

Wednesday:
1. List job re-do’s
2. Date for safety meeting?? (Christ OK!!!)
3. Talk to Mike about supply payments?? (Vendor won’t deliver???)

Notes:
-Antwann no show again. Called, mother still sick? Mike says dump him. (Maybe he’s not lying??)
-Speedy complained four by eights too heavy to lift. (That’s his job!!!) Get him back support belt??
-Installation crew hanging about shop late A.M. / return too early P.M.?
-Paul on me- “get those idiots working!” Also, when safety meeting??? (Geez! give it a rest already!!)

Thursday:
1. Get Mike to find new printing guy? I will fill in meantime
2. Cleanup all areas (Recycle beer bottles/ pickup matches)
3. Repost No Smoking signs
4. Knockout late jobs? (That’s a dream!!!)

Notes:
-Speedy at work early? Fight with wife last night; threw her across the room!!! Yikes! (Didn’t complain about her weight!!!!)
-Harry on beer run. (Answer phones while out—where’s Mike??)
-Harry hasn’t given me artwork yet? (Quelle surprise!! FIND!!!)
-Paul asked Mike to ask me about safety meeting (WHEN THE LORD RETURNS TO EARTH PAL!!!!!)
-Two installers quit (I didn’t say a word???)

Friday:
1. Update new orders/ re-dos /post (Forget it)
2. Get Mike to find new installer(s) and printer (Good Luck Suckaaah!!!)
3. Bill/submit completed jobs to Mike (HAHAHA!!!)

Notes:
-Speedy no show
-Need serious talk with Mike (re: replacements/supplies?)
-Need to talk to Harry (re: artwork/beer?)
-Avoid Paul (re: safety meeting)
-Work the weekend


4 Comments

this is the best job description i have ever seen!
please write more…….

Posted by Paul D on 2 June 2007 @ 8pm

Hi Jim. Photos i received. Thanks

Posted by Bill Compton on 4 June 2007 @ 3pm

I wasn’t sure where this was going until Speedy threw his old lady across the room. This story made me laugh and want to cry at the same time. Thanks!

Posted by Judy on 20 July 2007 @ 2pm

This is too funny (and creative). But every sign company ha to have someone willing to do it, right? I would be happy to volunteer for the position!

Posted by ddmike on 19 March 2010 @ 6pm

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