Rijn,
I have:
Held a decapitated human head in my hands, sliced neatly in half, and marvelled at the astounding beauty contained within. Always played with words, my childhood ambition to be “˜an authoress’ thwarted by my perfectionism on my first day of school, returning home to sob “I’ve had a whole day of classes, and I still can’t read and write yet!” Run away from home as a teenager, far away, to a land on the other side of the world where they drank black cherry beer and spoke in a hybrid of Flemish and French that charmed my ears and warmed my soul. Watched the most beautiful sunset of my life in the New Mexico desert, a fireball of burnt amber and scarlet trailing ribbons across the sky. Spent three years of my life locked away in my house, unable to reach even the mailbox without panic making me choke and flee back inside. Recited prayers in Irish, Old Norse and Russian at my altar as winter storms shook the windowpanes and made the candle flames dance, feeling blissfully at peace, and at home. Strutted through the streets of Berlin, tattoos spilling out of the sleeves of my fifties starlet dress, drunk on martinis and the knowledge that my world was unlocked again. Discovered the agonizing pain of breaking a lover’s heart, and felt strangely grateful, years later, to experience the grief of a lover breaking mine. Had conversations in Dutch, French, German and English in the Gare Central in Brussels, all within fifteen minutes, and upon realising this achievement almost tripped over in wonder and pride. Raised a whip over my shoulder and let fly on the tender flesh of a manacled slave on my journey as a dominatrix. Finally, blessedly, come up from underground and found my way back to the land of cherry beer, and nestled deep in my 400-year-old blood-red room high above the cobblestones, listened to the bells of the medieval Sablon church ring the hours in and thought, yes, this will do.
I have not:
Lived in Russia, published a novel, given birth, bought a drumkit, gone skydiving, become a German translator, or learned to walk in six inch heels.
Yet.
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