Consultant/Assistant
by Suzi—Age 63—Reading, PA
When someone asks what I do for a living, I answer that I’m a consultant.
Since I am single, I can talk about my work with no one to refute what I am saying, so I get to define myself professionally each time I’m asked. Usually it’s easy to answer “marketing” for the answer creates a silence and I can fit in a non sequitur such as “How’s your new car?”
I have an office in my dining room and command my realm from a black faux Aeron chair. The dining room’s proximity to the kitchen is obvious and pretty darn convenient.
I am what is commonly known as a resource—a go-to person. All the dirty jobs. I have a large manure rake and shovel in the corner as a reminder of the poop I scoop on a daily basis. (I am a horsewoman—excuse the metaphor). My largest client, a Harvard MBA-JD, is still mired in the ’60s and Harvard’s teaching methods—which appear to have no practical application except in boardrooms. I do things like plan events with $100 budgets, write grant proposals (begging for dollars in nonprofit parlance), order office equipment, act as blamee for incorrect financial figures, lost toner, misguided copy machines and wayward computers. And, attend meetings which are usually cleverly disguised as joint efforts but really provide my marching orders. I am a self-professed victim of overwork, wanting to please, wanting everything to be right. Yes, I am a glorified Executive Assistant—which I was in another life. Except now I work for myself. I also count as a skill set the ability to see a client through his divorce, the ability to see a client through his second marriage, pick up a motorcycle, buy gifts, babysit. The personal and professional lines are blurry now as I near retirement.
I edit others’ work, am modest, and am good/great at what I do. I allow myself to be swept into the background and receive no credit for bringing in thousands of dollars in grant money or for a job well done. I’m reminded of the scene from the Wizard of Oz, where Oz is revealed as a small man working his magical illusions from behind the curtains. I am anonymous—that is my job.
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