Lost
by Jamie—Age 26—Kingston, NY
I was just out of high school, fresh off the chopping block and had to find my means of living. I was in the arcade playing some video games to separate this new adult feeling, when I saw a huddle of blue shirt and khaki pants gang. I soon realized they weren’t just really close friends but Best Buy employees. I was oddly interested. That night I decided I wanted to be part of that gang that walks through the food court in the mall like they own it, so I started to dial the numbers. I made it through the first test, the second interview and the third with the Big Cheese. This has to be something crazy to have to go through this much, or so I thought…
I could have never imagined myself in retail, quiet little me trying to prey on the weaknesses of the retail whores. I would have thought I would be in sunny California working with oceanographers, or training dolphins: Boy was I in for a reality check! I felt like I stepped back into the classroom or applied to Best Buy college; what a slap in the face. Eventually I got used to the acronyms and morning meeting huddles, cheering out 518 dominate!! Did I really just yell that at nine o’clock in the morning? What the hell am I doing the teapot dance for?
I slowly eased into the culture, accepted the values and it became my life. I went from department to department, moved my way up the corporate ladder always wishing I had just moved to California to fulfill my dream. Year after year my dream got smaller and smaller, until finally it was gone. There wasn’t even a remnant left behind, just an emptiness. I started to get high every day trying to find some extra curricular activity to fill the void, that just filled my head with worries and my belly with snacks. Although I always maintained my responsibilities, I searched for joy and bought it all!
Steadily approaching my seventh year I started to see the light, I pierced this cushion and fell flat on my ass and for the first time in a while I started to care about my path. The world needed to know who I am, and see what I have to give back. The new me fresh, drug free and full of aspiration with a whole new outlook on life. I will start all over again and go back to school, working somewhere new that is focused on actually helping people and not encouraging them to spend their grocery money on an Xbox 360. I plan to reinvent myself, to take hold of my life and live it like I want to…to be continued…
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